tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post774475083237966584..comments2019-06-28T07:54:56.764-04:00Comments on Tsukismom Speaks: A frank talk about race and adoptionCynthia Bostwickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-73083953406141755402007-10-02T19:02:00.000-04:002007-10-02T19:02:00.000-04:00Anonymous--I'd be delighted to have you use my pie...Anonymous--<BR/><BR/>I'd be delighted to have you use my piece, but I would like your information--you could send info on your class, even. Because my blog is not anonymous, I would like to track, where possible, when things are being used. Please feel free to email me (address below).<BR/><BR/>Thanks for you comments. I was totally naieve about race issues when I adopted. Love does not conquer all, education does!<BR/><BR/>Peace, shalom, salaam--<BR/><BR/>Cindy<BR/><BR/>tsukismom@yahoo.comCynthia Bostwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-34391114886911590412007-10-02T18:49:00.000-04:002007-10-02T18:49:00.000-04:00Dear Cynthia,Thank you so much for your blog. I a...Dear Cynthia,<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for your blog. I am also a mother through transracial adoption, and my heart connected with so much of what you said. I often times find myself frustrated with the idea that because we chose to grow our family through adoption, it is my families job to educate the world EVERYWHERE and ALL THE TIME.<BR/><BR/>Do not get me wrong, there is a time and place for education. In fact, I will be teaching a class this spring to counselors and marriage and family therapists about assisting families formed through adoption and foster care, I will not however, be conducting my class while in the grocery store or when I am attempting to do life with my family!<BR/><BR/>My husband and I were meeting with a group of parents through adoption, most of whom did not adopt transracially. It struck me that those in the group who have crossed those racial barriers understood this frustration, while those who had not seemed to see it as the rest of us being too sensitive and not recognizing the overall racism present in the situation. Anyhow, I could go on for days, but just wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us. <BR/><BR/>Would it be okay if I included your post in the readings of parents thoughts and experiences that I am compiling for my class?<BR/><BR/>Thanks,<BR/><BR/>Concerned Parent and ProfessionalAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-53623769771571900422007-02-19T22:18:00.000-05:002007-02-19T22:18:00.000-05:00Anonymous:I guess I might feel better about your p...Anonymous:<BR/><BR/>I guess I might feel better about your position if you had the courage to sign you name. That being said, you raise interesting points. <BR/><BR/>Have you, however, lived this? <BR/><BR/>I can assure you, several African-American people I know share my discomfort about the hair touching stuff. And I don't see it as my repsonsiblity to sacrifce my son's privacy in order to move our culture along. I see that as your repsonsibility to talk about those issues with another adult. <BR/><BR/>People may be well-intentioned, it doesn't make what they do right. One could say the Founders of our country were well-intentioned when they put in the Constitution that black people counted only as 2/3 a person: they were just trying to be fair to the states.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for reading. And I suspect, our debate will conitnue!<BR/><BR/>Peace, shalom, and salaam to you, whoever you are.Cynthia Bostwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-81114496316151431702007-02-15T10:09:00.000-05:002007-02-15T10:09:00.000-05:00The whole world is a social laboratory. We are al...The whole world is a social laboratory. We are all constantly being scrutinized, judged, observed and stereotyped and the two of you individually or together as a family are no exception. I think it is a mistake to assume that everyone who is curious about Ben, that anyone who touches his hair, or inquires into your history together does so out of insensitivity, social stupidity or a sick need to experiment with him in a “social laboratory”. Are not your own comments prejudicial, equally presumptuous and judgmental? Are you not harshly accusing others of the very thing you yourself are doing?<BR/><BR/><BR/>My hunch is most of these people are well intended, kind and simply being friendly. You cannot walk around with a big sign warning people not to touch your son’s hair for the rest of his life. If you continue to make a battle out of every perceived social slight or blunder; if you continue to generate more anger within yourself and the world each time you encounter a seeming injustice are you not contributing to the overall collective problem which already plagues our world and ultimately your child?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-53653487383928018252007-02-14T15:02:00.000-05:002007-02-14T15:02:00.000-05:00People are strange, Cynthia, no doubt about it. Th...People are strange, Cynthia, no doubt about it. This is a powerful and moving post, and one that ought to be required reading for anyone who lives in a bubbleworld where everything has to be just like they are. <BR/><BR/>I think you have a marvelous family, and I wish we lived closer. <BR/><BR/>peace, jodiAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12107236871193698777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-30513826668079691632007-02-13T06:04:00.000-05:002007-02-13T06:04:00.000-05:00cloudscome--I never have a problem with kids' cur...cloudscome--<BR/><BR/>I never have a problem with kids' curiosity. We get that sometimes, "Are you his MOTHER?" and I am happy to explain. Adults simply amaze me. I'm not usually this angry, either, just needed to vent. The adoption journey has been amazing, and continues to impress me with how little I know. Yet.Cynthia Bostwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-57291716715157563792007-02-13T05:39:00.000-05:002007-02-13T05:39:00.000-05:00This is a very moving post. I haven't had this ex...This is a very moving post. I haven't had this experience with people touching my sons' hair, maybe because they are shy and make it clear to strangers that they don't want to be touched. I have had other kids touch their hair and that hasn't bothered me. From reading this I see it all in a whole new light so thanks . And thanks for stopping by my blog and giving your encouraging comments. You are right, we need to work together. A writing project sounds interesting...Andromeda Jazmonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12355192738014962965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-91106128570622487032007-02-12T23:06:00.000-05:002007-02-12T23:06:00.000-05:00I can't believe someone would have the nerve to to...I can't believe someone would have the nerve to touch a child like that! I am shocked!<BR/><BR/>I feel your anger. Even though I've never experienced a situation like that, I would be livid if someone reached out and touched my son or daughter...regardless of their reason.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad you posted your story. I hope more will read this and understand that this is behavior unacceptable.<BR/><BR/>I found your page by using the "random blog button" and I'm sure I'll be stopping by again.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06502276781004430470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-71666063930933270002007-02-11T11:04:00.000-05:002007-02-11T11:04:00.000-05:00Amen, friend. I am sure you and your family exper...Amen, friend. I am sure you and your family experience the same kind of idiocy from strangers. I suppose that comes with the category of being exceptional parents! Thanks for your comment, and for continuing to read.Cynthia Bostwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-51702061686734364922007-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:002007-02-11T10:46:00.000-05:00I feel your anger Cynthia. I want people to get to...I feel your anger Cynthia. I want people to get to know my Ben for what he is and not what he isn't.Ben and Benniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12165216797183902071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-33820943513824465052007-02-11T10:42:00.000-05:002007-02-11T10:42:00.000-05:00Dear Anon,Thanks so much for your kind words. I a...Dear Anon,<BR/><BR/>Thanks so much for your kind words. I am grateful for readers and even more grateful for intelligent responses.<BR/><BR/>Peace, shalom and salaam to you and your family.Cynthia Bostwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15718703001360713965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29261224.post-22017979038786892762007-02-11T10:04:00.000-05:002007-02-11T10:04:00.000-05:00I'm so glad to have found your blog. Every post i...I'm so glad to have found your blog. Every post is interesting. This post should be published where it will reach a wider audience. Bravo.<BR/><BR/>When my daughter was an infant I had strangers ask me if she was adopted (she wasn't, she looks like her dad). I remember being shocked at their audacity. But no one ever touched her. I would have been furious too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com